Friday, May 11, 2012

Boobies or Formula? Does it matter?...TIMES BREASTFEEDING COVER

I can't believe that I have gone this long without writing.....

I keep a list of things (in my head) that I want to write about. And this list is loooooong. Adam is graduating next week! Woo Hoo! and my in-laws are coming into town. I still have school and trying to keep my house clean and tidy is impossible. Don't mind me for blurting out my thoughts...

So yesterday I read this article and it was about the TIMES cover. It was in regards to the controversy that the cover stirred up. On the cover was a mother breastfeeding her 3 year old son. Honestly, I was a little taken back. Because it's not everyday that you see a women breastfeeding her toddler. So of course its going to be shocking. I just can't imagine taking the time to try and breast feed C1, it just wouldn't work for us. But if it works for her than woo hoo. I think she is an awesome mom for providing her kids with the essential nutrients that they need. Around the world, children are breastfeed until they are 5 or 6. It's only here in a America that we find a picture like this disturbing.

Anyways, I completely judged her and thought she is probably one of those "breast feeding Nazi's" (I do not apologize for being politically incorrect and I totally judged her). Shes not! I subscribe to BlogHer and they posted something about what she wrote on her blog, iamnotthebabysitter.com ( I would have linked her blog but I think it crashed), 10 Things Breast Feeding Advocates Need To Stop Saying.

Finally! A breast feeding advocate that sticks up for women who don't or didn't breast feed. I was several times "attacked" because I didn't breast feed. It was very painful, I didn't produce enough and then with both deliveries I contracted a kidney infection. The medication that I was on was not safe to take and breast feed. I eventually dried up being on this medication. I got so much slack for it! I constantly was explaining myself and I shouldn't have to do that. And of course I put up a defense for any women trying to push breast feeding on me, hence the "breast feeding Nazi" name.

To the women that are "breast feeding nazi's", read the article and cut us mom's who didn't breast feed some slack. And you know what, it's just better that you mind your own business. Thank you Jamie Lynn Grumet for sticking up for women like me. I think whether you breast feed or not, doesn't determine if you are a great mom. I am great mom who gave my boys formula.

4 comments:

  1. thank you for writing this. we adopted our little girl, and were judged too, when people saw that i always had a bottle for her....for OBVIOUS reasons! i always hated that i had to feel like i had to explain WHY to people, as if it was any of their business!

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  2. I really like the post you linked too. I was lucky enough to be able to breastfeed for 5 months, but had to stop because of his food allergies (my elimination diets didn't work and he was essentially allergic to my breastmilk). I always felt weird giving him bottles in public because I felt like I was being judged (really, I think I just felt like I failed though and I was way too hard on myself). There are always reasons why some moms need/want to choose formula and people need to be much more understanding. Unfortunately it is so easy to be judgmental and even while I was formula feeding my son I found myself side eyeing other mothers with bottles. How horrible is that??? It is like we are programmed to judge and have to consciously snap ourselves out of it. At least that's how I feel sometimes. I hate it!

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  3. Pretty Cool Article, Sandee! I didn't breastfeed my son, and it was ENTIRELY my choice. The fact is, it just made me feel uncomfortable. I think I tried it about 3 separate instances, because my Mom insisted, and I cringed every moment because I did not like seeing my newborn baby sucking on my breast.

    I get it, our breasts were made for 2 reasons....feed our children and please our men....somehow the feeding part doesn't sit well with me. My reason, may seem callous to some, but the fact is, my breasts are a a very strong erogenous area for me, and the whole idea about feeding my baby really creeped me out. I do not judge any women who choose to nurse their babies, by all means more power to them, but don't judge me because it's just not for me. In fact, I even support breast feeding in public, for those that advocate it -- you'll just never catch me doing it hahaha

    As for those women who are in favor of breastfeeding, DON'T JUDGE ME, JUST BECAUSE IT WORKED FOR YOU, DOESN'T MEAN IT WORKS FOR ME! I was once told, "You're robbing your son from the potential he can be. Breastfed children are smarter; and the bonding experience is much better" Well, if I could speak to that woman again I would tell her the following, "My son is now 12 and about to enter 7th grade. He is developing quite well actually. No signs of mental retardation, behavioral problems, or underdeveloped growth troubles. In fact, my son has been a constant over-achiever at school surpassing the California state average test scores year after year; honor roll, spelling bee champion, Science Fair winner-are just a couple of his accomplishments. And, as far as his social skills go, imagine this: he's a talented hip hop dancer--without a shy hair in his body, has ran for the student senate at his school since 4th grade and won every year and even in 6th grade he was elected President. He's kind of a really skinny kid, probably from all the energy he has and the dancing--so there goes the theory that formula is linked to childhood obesity. As far as the stronger bond theory...he is a 12 year old who still asks that I tuck him into bed at night, and asks me to lay next to him until he falls asleep. Hugs & kisses are a must have in my home, and he always like to come up from behind me to hug me and kiss me on the cheek. I don't know about you, but I think we got the bonding part covered.

    With all this said, my child, your child, or any other child in the world is not going to be smarter or feel more loved because they were breastfed. Children's development is influenced by the nurturing and the love & affection we give to them at home on a daily basis. My son is a prime example."

    And, may I add, I'm also a single mom--my son's father and I split up when our son was 2 and I have not remarried. So, a single-mom who never breastfed...OMG what is our world coming to! {{sarcasm}}

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  4. Thanks everyone for your input!

    Amy- I think you are right when you said we are programmed to judge. I still automatically judge people with tattoos and I'm covered! I do have to snap myself out of it.

    Yadi- We just don't have the right to judge each other like that. I wish that lady could see you now! I think you are an awesome mom and your son has turned out to be one amazing kid.

    Emily- Tell those people to "F**K OFF" :)

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